Silent Sunday

So this is the beginning of something that could be great.  As I sit here looking in on others life's from the good old Facebook, I realize how much I screwed myself over early in life. The thoughts of going straight into college vanished as quickly as they appeared.  Now I see some people I absolutely despise taking my place in college next year.  Just the thought of some people going were I should be next year shuts me down.  But I have no one else to blame except for myself and that blows.  The worst is everyone thinks they should tell me about these peoples life's.  But hey guess what I already know and sure it bugs the hell out of me but you don't have to bring it up since I hear about it at least five times a day.  Just writing about this gets me in a bad mood, but I will just have to get over it and keep living my life.  According to the girl I love every thing happens for a reason in life and this happened to me because it was supposed to and something good will come from this... but do I really think that this will make me a better person and this is how it should be.  NO, sir i do not think that at all I just gave a piss poor effort for my whole high school life and now this is what I get for it a whole lot of nothing.  Congratulations Mr. Evans you failed once again in your life is what I really hear when people say something good will come from this don't worry about it.  Well hey I do worry about this almost everyday because I'm growing up and growing up fast it seems like. So the real question is when am I going to get my act together and do things for myself and not for others?